


Scruba dub dub angst in the tub

by Deadspacebabe



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bathing/Washing, Comfort, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Human Disaster Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak's Route, Love Confessions, Mental Breakdown, Reader-Insert, Spoilers, Worry, mentions of hanging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadspacebabe/pseuds/Deadspacebabe
Summary: This is a little Julian X Reader mutual comfort/hurt fic during the bath scene.i made this while i was in the middle of his route but its still one of my favorites!I generally try to keep my reader ambiguous so everyone can be included but this one does imply once at the end that the reader has hair that passes the eyes when wet. I know this is a very specific circumstance but I hope most of you can still insert yourself comfortably! I just thought that the hair curtain was silly.I hope you enjoy!!!
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Reader, Julian Devorak/You
Kudos: 22





	Scruba dub dub angst in the tub

I don’t think I actually realized how exhausted I really was until I walked into Nadia’s bathroom and felt the heat soak into me. I’ll have to thank Nadia again later, I really really need this. I feel so overwhelmed and tense and I haven’t slept in so long. God when was the last time I- 

“Hey are you alright y/n?” Julian asks me concerned, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

“Oh ya I’m alright, I think my exhaustion is just catching up with me that’s all.” I reply, rubbing the back of my head embarrassed. 

“Oh then why don’t I help you relax a little?” He whispers curling his long fingers around my chin to pull my face up to his for a quick soft kiss. I simply nod up to him smiling lightly. With my approval he starts undoing my many layers of masquerade attire and I reach up to undo his also. Before he finishes he offers me a thin bathrobe then turns, his face becoming a little red, 

“I figured you’d want to take those off yourself” he says gesturing to my undergarments. I just whisper a little thank you and proceed with the rest of my clothes with my back to him and he does the same. As I finish tying off the bathrobe I hear his feet pad over to the very large bath tub. I watch curiously as he tests the water and climbs in. When he sinks in I can see the thick muscles in his back slowly release, I hadn’t realized he was so stiff before. He once again brings me out of my train of thought with and excited gasp,

“Y/n! Nadia has actual Nevivon bath salts and they’re fresh! Ahhh really brings me back, I would love to bring you someday!” He says happily mixing salts and oils into the bath. I giggle at him and walk up to the bath crossing my arms over the rim. 

“I would love to go with you Ilya, it sounds like a blast.” I say smiling at him lazily as I rest my head on my arms. He moves across the tub to me and runs a damp hand through my hair. 

“Will you join me?” He asks hopefully. I nod and climb in taking a place across from him. I try to let the warmth embrace me but the bath is so incredibly big and deep that I have trouble keeping my body from floating upward. I keep struggling and slipping, my lower half desperately trying to come to the surface. I realized that through my struggle Julian is just sitting there snickering at me. I give him a death glare and splash at him which just makes him break out into full blown howls with his head thrown back over the rim of the tub. I try to be serious so I throw my nose up and cross my arms and legs but I just slip again bringing him to tears this time cause he’s laughing so damn hard. At this point I can’t help but giggle a little with him. Everything about that man is just so contagious. Finally his laughter slows and he offers me his hand while wiping his tears. 

“Come on darling I’ll keep you steady, I promise” he says. I take his hand nervously cause like we’re practically naked but I decide to be brave and follow his lead for once. He pulls me onto his lap, his legs are crossed and my knees fall at either side of his waist. He wraps his arms around me to stabilize me and rests his head in the crook of my neck. 

“How’s this?” He asks, sounding just as tense as I feel. 

“It’s perfect” I respond despite my nerves and lay down completely against his chest. I can feel him let out a sigh of relief as he starts rubbing little circles into my lower back and between my shoulder blades. 

“I’m glad.” he sighs. “You’ve been working so hard without rest throughout all of this, I bet you're whooped emotionally and physically.” I respond only by tucking my head further into his shoulder and bring my arms up to squeeze around his neck. Neither of us speak for a few minutes, he just continues rubbing as I listen to his breathing and focus on the steady beat of his heart against my chest while I busy my hands with the soft damp curls at his nape, slowly turning them between my fingers. The longer I listen to his heart beat the faster mine goes. Before I know it my eyes start to sting as a feeling I was pushing back creeps into my mind and I finally break startling Julian with the sudden spill of tears. 

“Hey hey are you alright? Did I do something?! What’s wrong y/n?” He says as he tries to pull me off of him but I don’t let go of his neck. Before I let any words out I lay a shaky kiss on the column of his neck. 

“I’m sorry Ilya I couldn’t keep it in anymore” I finally let out jaggedly into his throat as I start hiccuping into the sobs. He finally manages his way out of my grip but my hands fly to my face before he could catch them. I don’t want him to feel guilty for how I feel. He shouldn’t have to deal with my feelings on top of his own. 

“Hey hey don’t apologize darling you’re fine just tell me what’s wrong, please” he says, the concern in his voice raising after each word. I simply shake my head at him and throw it back into his chest. He sighs and rubs the back of my head trying to soothe me. 

“Please I can’t help you if you don’t tell me” he begs. He sounds so scared. I don’t want him to worry but at the same time I’ve made him worry by not telling him. Wow good job y/n, real slick. I guess he has the right to know doesn’t he? I mean he is my.. my… the…. 

I finally raise my head and try to look at him from between my fingers. “I was just so scared, and I- I thought- and what if- I don’t know what I would do if- and I don’t even know what we-“ i stutter out between hiccups. 

“Hey, shhhhhh it’s ok. Take your time and just breath.” He says gently while resting my hand on his chest then wiping my tears with his thumb. I close my eyes and focus on matching my breathing to his while ignoring the hiccups choking me. Once I finally calm down he takes my face in both of his hands and lays a long kiss on my forehead. I wrap my hands over his on my cheeks and just take in the moment while I gather my thoughts. 

“You ready now dear?” He asks quietly. I shake my head a little and take a deep breath. It’s hard but I make eye contact. 

“I’m scared Julian. What if we fail and people die? What if you die? You scare me Julian.” I say as steady as I can while his face drops. I knew it would. I squeeze his hands harder as he tries to pull them away from my face. 

“I knew that you’d be ok but watching you be hung tore me apart.” I say feeling the tears start to sting my eyes again. “I knew you’d pop out of your coffin cracking jokes and act like everything was ok but when I saw your body fall it felt like I died… again” I squeeze his hands again. “I know you did it for a good cause but you went rushing in without me and I was so worried and confused. Julian why are you like this? Why are you so willing to die alone for everything?”

“Because if I couldn’t save it the first time maybe I can this time. Maybe I can save everyone, maybe I can save you this time. ” he says quietly dragging his thumbs across my cheeks.

“Why would you think it’s ok to die for me? You deserve life, don’t you know that?!” the tears finally fall. He looks hurt. I can see his eyes becoming glassy with tears. He sighs deeply avoiding eye contact and says,

“Because you are my everything. It was my fault you died and I don’t want to stand by and let you die again. I can’t handle that. ” 

“Ilya please. You were busy trying to find the cure and making people as comfortable as they possible could be. It’s not your fault, I didn’t really tell you. It’s not your fault I caught it. I was a doctor too, it was bound to happen. Hell YOU GOT IT!” I yell gesturing to his eye as he still looks at me with a pitiful face. 

“Ilya If I’m your everything then please stay here with me. You’re everything needs you.. because you’re my everything too.” I say through tears and finally drop my face roughly into his chest. He doesn’t move for a few seconds which worries me then I hear him sniffle and I look up, he’s crying too. 

“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry y/n.” His face shrinks on itself “I feel like I have to. You’re working s-so hard and being so brave and- and I feel like I’m not doing as much as I could. You s-see, me being here h-hurts you… I hurt you. If I wasn’t here you wouldn’t hurt. If I wasn-“

“WHAM”

I slapped him right across his face, my tears streaming faster but this time angry and frustrated tears burn my skin. 

“YOU IDIOT!” I yell. “ILYA YOU FOOL I NEED YOU HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU” 

Both of our faces drop then flare bright red.   
I try to push myself off of his lap out of embarrassment but he just snatches me back. 

“No please don’t go… I- I love you too. Although I thought it was obvious already. ” he says rubbing the back of his head trying to avoid my eyes.   
“I’m sorry you fell in love with a fool like me. I’m not even sure how someone as amazing as yourself could” 

“Julian shut up.” I say pressing a light kiss to his cheek.  
“I know you’re trying to protect me in your own way but you need to realize that you are deserving of love. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met and without you we wouldn’t be making any progress in this mess in the first place. You make every situation feel lighter with poorly timed but still hilarious jokes. You make my heart beat as fast as a hummingbird's wings and my stomach ties itself in knots everytime I see you, nevermind what happens when you touch me. You make me feel ways I’ve never felt with anything else. I’m so obsessed and in love with you my skin tingles just thinking about being with you.” 

“Y/n” Julian says, tears coming back to his eyes as he squeezed my hands. 

“Julian it hurts me so much to see you sacrifice yourself so easily because you think you don’t deserve life or love. Do you realize how many people you have saved and helped. More than half of that stadium was on your side cheering for your innocence and crying for you. You’ve given Vesuvia hope and you’ve given me a new life better than I ever could have ever imagined having and I’m so grateful. How can someone make so many people so happy and not think they’re worth more than a grain of sand.” I say getting emotional again. 

“I guess I just feel like everyone is my responsibility. It’s all I’ve ever really known, running into danger with no concern for my safety. I guess the safety of others was alway just more important to me than my own. And these past few years I was able to heal myself so that made me even more reckless, But if I mean that much to you I’ll try to see my worth. If someone as wonderful as you can see worth in someone like me then I might have something going for me after all. I’m sorry. I'll try to be better. Thank you for being with me and thank you for loving me. You’re the strongest bravest person I know and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He says giving me a half hearted wink feeling a little squeamish from the scolding and praise. 

“Thank you Ilya. Remember you’re never alone. I promise. You’ve got a whole army behind you. No more lone wolf ok Batman” I say giving him a taste of his medicine with a trademark Julian wink. He giggles at me and lays his head softly in my shoulder. 

“Wow I’m really crazy for you” he puffs out into my crook, the hot air sending shivers up my spine “Maybe you’re the actual cause of the plague and not Lucio. I swear love gives me such similar symptoms it’s scary”

“Oh ya?” I giggle, tangling my fingers in his hair. “Like what exactly?” He sits up straight and starts counting them on his fingers,

“1. Aching pains, In my heart specifically.   
2\. Chills, Whenever you’re around   
3\. Cough, nervous coughs cause being flustered by you constantly (he arches his arches his eyebrow at me)  
4\. Shortness of breath  
5\. Pain in the abdomen, my stomach flipping when you speak.   
That’s just a few. See that’s proof, you’re spreading it I’m going to die” he says dramatically throwing his head back and draping his hand on his forehead. I can’t hold in my laugh anymore. I can see him peek at me from under his hand trying to hold his act which makes me laugh even harder throwing my head back and right into water. I lose my balance on his lap and fall in completely. Now he’s bursting with laughter as I come up completely soaked with a curtain of hair in front of my eyes. He parts my hair while still wearing a huge smile. 

Well I guess it would be a good time to actually bathe now instead of foolin around. Too bad we let the water get so cold   
..........


End file.
